when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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