Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
