After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
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