Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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