Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
