No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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