he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
