Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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