just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
