i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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