It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
