I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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