i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
