the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
