He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
