Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
