Duck Duck Cougar?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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