We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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