my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
