i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
