Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
