Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
