Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Randomize
