After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
