I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
