don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm both gender and math confused
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
