ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
