it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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