You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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