here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
