Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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