Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
