It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
