That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
