I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
