I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
