What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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