why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
