Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
