is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
