On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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