38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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