we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
