oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
