I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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