I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
