you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
