my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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