That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
