Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
